Hmm.. this is somewhat of a follow up of my last post, about the fear of the Lord.
I figured it out, or gained some insight anyway. It was a Friday JCA Large group (Quest). Pastor matt was teaching about Envy from Proverbs and the verse had something about fear of the Lord and how that was how to counter Envy.
The fear of the Lord is worship, it's standing in awe and wonder of God because He is so Awesome and worthy to be praised and worship. But it's standing in awe and wonder of God in a way that produces change in our lives because we realise who God really is.
Then this image popped up in my mind about who God is...
I'm standing on the hill at Calvery seeing Jesus cry out to God above. He's looking to Heaven, so desperate to see the One He loves and the One who loves Him. His head and His whole body wants to reach up to heaven and feel the touch of God. But He cannot. He's nailed cruely to the cross, experiencing the evils of the Roman Crucifixion. But that isn't what prevents Him from seeing the Father. It's the sin. my sin, your sin nailed and hammered into every part of His being. With the sins of the Father on Him, the Father cannot but turn away, leaving his dying Son with not even a glimpse of His back.
What's going through my mind? I'm just standing there, not really wanting to look at the gory scene before me. Unmoved probably, untouched and unchanged. Sometimes, we see that image so often we (as Christians) fail to grasp the message of the cross and the power of the cross and it's meaning and implication in our lives.
Then, i feel a distinct presence behind me, two hands placed on my shoulder. I've been a Christian long enough to know that its The Holy Spirit, and the Presence of God. I turn my eyes away from the cross and hide myself in the embrace of the Spirit, of the Father, because I cannot bear to watch Jesus suffer. Then it hits me.
The cross is so painful for Christ, because as He suffers alone, as He breathes His last breath, I feel and touch the Spirit. I meet God. That's the contrast of the cross. THe One so deserving of help, in His time of greatest need is turned away, so that the one who doesn't deserve even a chance enjoys the presence of God. That's grace.
What's my response? I run to the cross, fix my eyes on Jesus nailed to the cross and I touch Him. I want to give Him the comfort that the Spirit gives me. But it was done.. Jesus breathed His last.
the next thought that comes to my mind though, is Jesus' words in matthew 25
"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'
Matt 25:34-40
The fear of the Lord is being in awe and wonder of God, His love, His sacrifice, His holiness, His awesomeness, but not just standing there, but having that awe and wonder in a way that produces permanent life change.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Friday, February 24, 2006
Thought of the Week
What does it mean to fear the Lord?
I was doing this for quiet time, and I couldn't quite grasp the full meaning of the phrase.
Anyone?
Cheryl
I was doing this for quiet time, and I couldn't quite grasp the full meaning of the phrase.
Anyone?
Cheryl
Thursday, February 16, 2006
about me? not quite
I'm beginning to realise that this life is increasingly less about me and more about God. It's funny how we mere humans think everything, even God almight revolves around us. From our petition prayers, to our service at church, to even our quiet times (what has God got to say to me today?). But this life is not about you or me. Thankfully.
Today during prayer meeting, God was really gracious in giving me the inspiration to write my support letter. I tried writing it on monday or tuesday, and i got super sian about it, because i didn't know how to write, and i didn't know how it would even be possible to raise that sum of money.
Matthew 19:26 (NIV)
Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
(coincidence that this passage is in Matthew which the GMC peeps are studying? i think not...)
Anyhow, God showed me tonight that this mission trip really really really isn't about me. Yes God asked me to go, yes, i had to give up stuff important to me, and yes, eventually i'll have to rough it out in India. Yes, this is an opportunity to KNOW God, and experience Him intimately.
But then one really must stop and think, when it comes to knowing and experiencing God, growing and maturing in Christian living, its not about us and our small lives, it's about God, and His plans, His Will in our little lives and how that fits into His ultimate plan for the World. It's about giving God fully glory, as we grow in Christ likeness, it's about experiencing God, so that we can worship God more, and then share with others around us, so that God gets more glory.
Tonight, God showed me that this mission trip, which is a big part of my life, is not about me. He gave me the inspiration to write my support letter, even tho i didn't deserve it, because i just wanted to quit writing. This life is about Him.
ANother thing to share, that i hope helps those who need it. Why is it such a relief that life is not about us, but about God? Because this life is about God and not us, we get what we often don't deserve (grace) so that God can do what He wants to do. It helps put things into perspective, that as we walk in God's Will, He will provide the strength, means, grace and everything necessary so that His Will be done.
Did the small stone kill Goliath? nope. It was God, all God and one small believing David.
Today during prayer meeting, God was really gracious in giving me the inspiration to write my support letter. I tried writing it on monday or tuesday, and i got super sian about it, because i didn't know how to write, and i didn't know how it would even be possible to raise that sum of money.
Matthew 19:26 (NIV)
Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
(coincidence that this passage is in Matthew which the GMC peeps are studying? i think not...)
Anyhow, God showed me tonight that this mission trip really really really isn't about me. Yes God asked me to go, yes, i had to give up stuff important to me, and yes, eventually i'll have to rough it out in India. Yes, this is an opportunity to KNOW God, and experience Him intimately.
But then one really must stop and think, when it comes to knowing and experiencing God, growing and maturing in Christian living, its not about us and our small lives, it's about God, and His plans, His Will in our little lives and how that fits into His ultimate plan for the World. It's about giving God fully glory, as we grow in Christ likeness, it's about experiencing God, so that we can worship God more, and then share with others around us, so that God gets more glory.
Tonight, God showed me that this mission trip, which is a big part of my life, is not about me. He gave me the inspiration to write my support letter, even tho i didn't deserve it, because i just wanted to quit writing. This life is about Him.
ANother thing to share, that i hope helps those who need it. Why is it such a relief that life is not about us, but about God? Because this life is about God and not us, we get what we often don't deserve (grace) so that God can do what He wants to do. It helps put things into perspective, that as we walk in God's Will, He will provide the strength, means, grace and everything necessary so that His Will be done.
Did the small stone kill Goliath? nope. It was God, all God and one small believing David.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Complaining
Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may becomeblameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depravedgeneration, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out theword of life- in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that Idid not run or labor for nothing.- phil 2:14-16
I'm studying Ecclesiastes right now, and the complaining thing is sorta in line with what I read today. Firstly, after reading the passage 2:17-26, I was convicted to not complain today. But i realised how tough that was, because, like selfishness, complaining is second nature to us. The other thing i realised is that we complain because we fail to see God in the things that we do, that's why we complain. Solomon talks about how life is meaningless apart from God, and in chapter 2, he is basically complaining. We complain because we don't see God, or don't realise that we are doing the daily, mundane, busy tasks (required of us from our teachers, bosses, and superiors, even church elders), we don't realise that we do these things for God. So to combat complaining hearts, do what you do as though doing it for the Lord!
I'm studying Ecclesiastes right now, and the complaining thing is sorta in line with what I read today. Firstly, after reading the passage 2:17-26, I was convicted to not complain today. But i realised how tough that was, because, like selfishness, complaining is second nature to us. The other thing i realised is that we complain because we fail to see God in the things that we do, that's why we complain. Solomon talks about how life is meaningless apart from God, and in chapter 2, he is basically complaining. We complain because we don't see God, or don't realise that we are doing the daily, mundane, busy tasks (required of us from our teachers, bosses, and superiors, even church elders), we don't realise that we do these things for God. So to combat complaining hearts, do what you do as though doing it for the Lord!
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
losing one's life
Okay, I know this is somewhat backdated but i guess i'm going to continue talking about the things i learnt over retreat.
Well, one big thing that was really bugging me during the retreat was this: What's to stop me from becoming exactly the same as before the retreat? Nothing. I could really still be as selfish as i was before the retreat, because i mean, I'm sinful and I can try really hard to not be selfish (and to not sin) but it's not going to work, because I am human and sinful. So, there's really nothing I can do to stop sinning. Instead, I look to the only One who had a good sound response to sin, Christ who died and rose again, kicking sin in the butt! So God's daily portion of grace, enough to last me through the day and Christ's resurrection power will give me hope against sin each new day. Hope that I will move towards Christlikeness daily. So don't focus on yesterday's failures or successes, know that each day is a new one with a new portion of grace awaiting us to face the new challenges of the day.
Another important lesson that i learnt over the past 2 days is this:
Matthew 16:25For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it
On monday, first weekday after the retreat, I was fasting for my church prayer walk. I also did a bible study on John 15 and spent the day(or stray thoughts during the day) figuring out what God was trying to say when he told the disciples to abide in Him, not because i was trying to be Holy, but because i genuinely didn't know what he meant and i really wanted to know. So without sounding proud, it was a relatively un-selfish day. Surprisingly, i managed to find time to do all that needed to be done that day (yes, this despite barely touching work during the weekend because of the retreat), and even got to talk to my family and watch bits of 24.
Tuesday however was a selfish day. I was selfish. I basically planned my day out and knew what i had to do and when to do them. Of course, I didn't do so well, ended up sleeping later than i planned and not really finishing everything that I had to do, even though I had more time than the day before!
I have no idea where all that time went, and how even though i had less time, i managed to do more on Monday. It really just goes to show that God is a better planner than I ever will be.
So, because I know i'm going to need this again sometime during the semester when the tests come around, I'm going to say it again
For whoever wants to save his life will lose it but whoever loses his life for me will find it Matt 16:25
Well, one big thing that was really bugging me during the retreat was this: What's to stop me from becoming exactly the same as before the retreat? Nothing. I could really still be as selfish as i was before the retreat, because i mean, I'm sinful and I can try really hard to not be selfish (and to not sin) but it's not going to work, because I am human and sinful. So, there's really nothing I can do to stop sinning. Instead, I look to the only One who had a good sound response to sin, Christ who died and rose again, kicking sin in the butt! So God's daily portion of grace, enough to last me through the day and Christ's resurrection power will give me hope against sin each new day. Hope that I will move towards Christlikeness daily. So don't focus on yesterday's failures or successes, know that each day is a new one with a new portion of grace awaiting us to face the new challenges of the day.
Another important lesson that i learnt over the past 2 days is this:
Matthew 16:25For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it
On monday, first weekday after the retreat, I was fasting for my church prayer walk. I also did a bible study on John 15 and spent the day(or stray thoughts during the day) figuring out what God was trying to say when he told the disciples to abide in Him, not because i was trying to be Holy, but because i genuinely didn't know what he meant and i really wanted to know. So without sounding proud, it was a relatively un-selfish day. Surprisingly, i managed to find time to do all that needed to be done that day (yes, this despite barely touching work during the weekend because of the retreat), and even got to talk to my family and watch bits of 24.
Tuesday however was a selfish day. I was selfish. I basically planned my day out and knew what i had to do and when to do them. Of course, I didn't do so well, ended up sleeping later than i planned and not really finishing everything that I had to do, even though I had more time than the day before!
I have no idea where all that time went, and how even though i had less time, i managed to do more on Monday. It really just goes to show that God is a better planner than I ever will be.
So, because I know i'm going to need this again sometime during the semester when the tests come around, I'm going to say it again
For whoever wants to save his life will lose it but whoever loses his life for me will find it Matt 16:25
Monday, January 30, 2006
post retreat thoughts
The retreat was really raelly good for me. I enjoyed myself and I was really really blessed from it. There's alot to say, alot that i've learnt over the course of this retreat, so much so that i don't really know where to begin!
First things first, this retreat was good because i think i went with the right heart, prepared and really really wanting to hear God's voice and be in God's presence. I guess one good application then would be for subsequent retreats, may I have that same desire. Camps and retreats shouldn't be about being with church friends, but being with God and meeting God. I also decided that I don't think retreats are much "fun", they can be good, blessing, fruitful, but not really fun.
I'll start with my lesson in faith. Before the retreat, the whole time I was praying though whether or not to go on missions, and even at home I struggled with alot of questions. I'm glad that i struggled through them, and that i even dared to ask myself or others these questions. He who seeks, finds. My conclusion during the retreat is that I didn't find all the answers, but i come away feeling okay, not frustrated. There has to be a point where the questions stop and faith jumps in (or i jump in with faith, as the case may be). I know that God is good, but i'm not thoroughly convinced. Somehow, i believe as i commit, as i surrender, God will show and convince me. Faith.
Another thing I learnt is that if one wants to hear God, or touch God, one only has to listen and feel. DUH right? It was a huge revelation to me at that point because the whole time i was relying on hearing God's voice when the preacher prayed, or praying for God to speak and constantly pleading with Him. I mean i was trying so hard to listen, i wasn't really listening. So I kept quiet, and God said listen and Feel. And I did. And I felt God's presence and heard His Voice.
Two other things i thought about while praying were my selfishness, pride and my lack of courage. I really still need to pray through these things, and i need prayer support for them too.
Yeah. I kinda want to talk about post retreat attitude and behaviour but class starts in abit. so.... gotta run.
First things first, this retreat was good because i think i went with the right heart, prepared and really really wanting to hear God's voice and be in God's presence. I guess one good application then would be for subsequent retreats, may I have that same desire. Camps and retreats shouldn't be about being with church friends, but being with God and meeting God. I also decided that I don't think retreats are much "fun", they can be good, blessing, fruitful, but not really fun.
I'll start with my lesson in faith. Before the retreat, the whole time I was praying though whether or not to go on missions, and even at home I struggled with alot of questions. I'm glad that i struggled through them, and that i even dared to ask myself or others these questions. He who seeks, finds. My conclusion during the retreat is that I didn't find all the answers, but i come away feeling okay, not frustrated. There has to be a point where the questions stop and faith jumps in (or i jump in with faith, as the case may be). I know that God is good, but i'm not thoroughly convinced. Somehow, i believe as i commit, as i surrender, God will show and convince me. Faith.
Another thing I learnt is that if one wants to hear God, or touch God, one only has to listen and feel. DUH right? It was a huge revelation to me at that point because the whole time i was relying on hearing God's voice when the preacher prayed, or praying for God to speak and constantly pleading with Him. I mean i was trying so hard to listen, i wasn't really listening. So I kept quiet, and God said listen and Feel. And I did. And I felt God's presence and heard His Voice.
Two other things i thought about while praying were my selfishness, pride and my lack of courage. I really still need to pray through these things, and i need prayer support for them too.
Yeah. I kinda want to talk about post retreat attitude and behaviour but class starts in abit. so.... gotta run.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
pre retreat thoughts
I thought it might be interesting to see how this retreat affects me, how I change because of this retreat. I'm going expecting to meet with God, expecting to hear God because it's been awhile, because this semester is going to be tough, and because I know I'm right where God wants me to be. I'm going expectant, but somehow, it's not quite enough... what else do i need? desperation?
Tonight during the kick-off service, I was super distracted. I thought about so many different things, even about blogging (gosh, i'm addicted, or on the brink of addiction anyway), just not thinking about God. Somehow, the songs didn't really click either, the sermon didn't really speak that much to me, and prayer time wasn't as powerful as I expected. WHY? preparation? desire? spiritual warfare?
And yet on the surface it's so easy to pretend everything's okay.
Here's another paradox. Perhaps my one gripe about churches in general, and Christians, is that people seem so perfect, people are "good" and one feels like one has to be "good" too. I know that the way to get over this whole perfection thing is to be vulnerable, to be honest and well... human. I realise that such change has to start with me. But it's so difficult... what would other people think? I bet though, that their response would be the exact opposite of what i imagine their response to be. Maybe relief, maybe identify with me. That said, i still lack the courage.
Tonight during the kick-off service, I was super distracted. I thought about so many different things, even about blogging (gosh, i'm addicted, or on the brink of addiction anyway), just not thinking about God. Somehow, the songs didn't really click either, the sermon didn't really speak that much to me, and prayer time wasn't as powerful as I expected. WHY? preparation? desire? spiritual warfare?
And yet on the surface it's so easy to pretend everything's okay.
Here's another paradox. Perhaps my one gripe about churches in general, and Christians, is that people seem so perfect, people are "good" and one feels like one has to be "good" too. I know that the way to get over this whole perfection thing is to be vulnerable, to be honest and well... human. I realise that such change has to start with me. But it's so difficult... what would other people think? I bet though, that their response would be the exact opposite of what i imagine their response to be. Maybe relief, maybe identify with me. That said, i still lack the courage.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
GMC just got a new blog site! I'm excited! =)
http://accountenance.blogspot.com/
awesome. I posted something on the site already about how its such a great way to keep in touch and enourage other people and keep others in prayer. I was very very very encouraged by that today. So overall, even though Wednesday is a long day at school, and even though i was fasting, it wasn't bad.... at all. =) By God's grace. God is really providing for me, in small ways and big. I am confident that He will continue to do so as i remain in His will this semester.
Also, during Family group tonight, i realised that God is really in control of all things, alot more than we often realise. We had to share about a person in our life that we wanted to evangelish/reach out to, and he said Will Callahan. It's kinda strange cos i definitely prayed about him before, but never really found the opportunity or setting to even begin to talk to him. To hear Simon's conviction is really encouraging. God, God's plans, are so much bigger than all of us, than any of us. Amen!
The other thing, which I write here, is so that i will be accountable. I want to set aside at least 10 minutes of every day to pray for someone other than myself. Now i have no excuse since i know the prayer requests of the church people from home, and from JCA, and from my family, and from my friends. I really can't say there's nothing to pray about. The other thing, is that something has to change about the way i evangelise. It's easy to do what i've always done, meet up with someone consistently, pray for them quietly, ask them to church events occasionally. I think it's time to take things to the next step. To really begin something active, to actively love them in a real obvious way, but not for my glory but that they may see Christ. Or to actually talk to them, discuss religion, discuss Christ. So, now that i've written it, i actually have to do it!!!
Okay, anyhow, enough blogging. Time to go back to some work! Ah... the life of a student!
I realise tho' that though today was long, the blessing is this... with long busy days, it gives us an opportunity to see more of God's providence!
http://accountenance.blogspot.com/
awesome. I posted something on the site already about how its such a great way to keep in touch and enourage other people and keep others in prayer. I was very very very encouraged by that today. So overall, even though Wednesday is a long day at school, and even though i was fasting, it wasn't bad.... at all. =) By God's grace. God is really providing for me, in small ways and big. I am confident that He will continue to do so as i remain in His will this semester.
Also, during Family group tonight, i realised that God is really in control of all things, alot more than we often realise. We had to share about a person in our life that we wanted to evangelish/reach out to, and he said Will Callahan. It's kinda strange cos i definitely prayed about him before, but never really found the opportunity or setting to even begin to talk to him. To hear Simon's conviction is really encouraging. God, God's plans, are so much bigger than all of us, than any of us. Amen!
The other thing, which I write here, is so that i will be accountable. I want to set aside at least 10 minutes of every day to pray for someone other than myself. Now i have no excuse since i know the prayer requests of the church people from home, and from JCA, and from my family, and from my friends. I really can't say there's nothing to pray about. The other thing, is that something has to change about the way i evangelise. It's easy to do what i've always done, meet up with someone consistently, pray for them quietly, ask them to church events occasionally. I think it's time to take things to the next step. To really begin something active, to actively love them in a real obvious way, but not for my glory but that they may see Christ. Or to actually talk to them, discuss religion, discuss Christ. So, now that i've written it, i actually have to do it!!!
Okay, anyhow, enough blogging. Time to go back to some work! Ah... the life of a student!
I realise tho' that though today was long, the blessing is this... with long busy days, it gives us an opportunity to see more of God's providence!
Saturday, September 10, 2005
first post
Okay,
Normally i don't post things, and i'm not sure how frequent my posts are going to be, but what the heck. I figured i just get a blog anyway. Good way for those who are close to me to find out what's going on in my life.
I'm going to keep this one short. Keep watching this space...
Cheryl
Normally i don't post things, and i'm not sure how frequent my posts are going to be, but what the heck. I figured i just get a blog anyway. Good way for those who are close to me to find out what's going on in my life.
I'm going to keep this one short. Keep watching this space...
Cheryl
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