1One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret,[a]with the people crowding around him and listening to the word of God, 2he saw at the water's edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets. 3He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat.
4When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, "Put out into deep water, and let down[b] the nets for a catch."
5Simon answered, "Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets."
6When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. 7So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.
8When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus' knees and said, "Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!" 9For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, 10and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon's partners.
Then Jesus said to Simon, "Don't be afraid; from now on you will catch men." 11So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.
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I just thought that this was a cool picture of ministry, at least ministry in my life. I'm increasingly realizing that ministry is about God doing His thing, and me simply being along for the ride, kind of like how Peter was in the boat watching and Jesus did His thing and taught the crowds. I'm sure Peter learnt more about Jesus simply by watching and listening to Him, and he got that privilege simply by being willing to give up some of his time and energy to take Jesus onto his boat.
I've definitely had those luke 5:5 skeptical moments, when I'm thinking to myself how silly the things I'm doing are, how it doesn't make sense to be spending my time and energy on church things when the rest of the world is investing its time climbing that corporate ladder or how there isn't any point to loving this person because they won't love me back. And yet I do them anyway (almost always grudgingly and with little faith, if any) and God blows me away with the way He chooses to use those little seemingly fruitless actions. I get my 'fish-filled-boat-sinking' moments when I catch a glimpse of the ways God uses me, not because of who I am or how hard I try, but because God is God and what God wants to do, God gets done, regardless! I definitely get my "I'm a sinful (wo)man" moments as I realize that God uses me in spite of my lack of commitment to ministry and people.
At the end of the day, I know I'm going to fail many many times in my pitiful attempts to love people because I will let them down through my insensitivity, impatience or selfishness (very often all three). I know there will be days when I am so tired of praying for people, questioning if those prayers make a difference in the grand scheme of things. I know there will be days when I get so frustrated that my church friends aren't supporting me the way I believe a church should.
But ministry thankfully doesn't depend on me, because God's at the helm of the boat, teaching and doing His thing. I'm just sitting, watching, listening and letting Him use my boat.
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